[ad_1]
I invented the Golfer’s Egg. I’m not ashamed to admit it, even though my critics and detractors have reviled me as a clumsy amateur incapable of controlling a runny egg.
The shattering truth is that the fundamental idea came, not from my head, but from a small family of Italian immigrants living in New York. I was watching their story for the fifth time, in a film called Moonstruck, as part of developing a greater appreciation of Cher’s newly restored topographical details after countless otomies and plasties. Towards the film’s end, there was a fleeting breakfast shot — and the seed of the Golfer’s Egg was planted in my otherwise moribund brain.
The shot showed an Italian madré breaking an egg into a hole cut into the centre of a large slice of bread. This is all I saw. I swear it. The rest is mine. I stayed awake late into that restless night, pondering the virtues of bread, eggs, slices, stuffings, and Italians. Towards dawn, in a dream between sleeping and waking, I was given the recipe for the Golfer’s Egg. (People often ask me today why I did not baptise it as Gopinath’s Egg. My answer has always been: Would you eat something called Gopinath’s Egg first thing in the morning?)
Let’s talk about Bombai. Click the QR code above to join my WhatsApp group to share your Bombai stories for my book—and perhaps answer some of my Bombai questions.
The Golfer’s Egg had one crippling flaw, which no one, not even Cher, not even its founding father, could solve. Let’s explore that problem first, before I give you the solution.
Ingredients
1 large fresh egg
1 large slice of bread
1 dollop of butter
Salt to taste
Freshly ground black pepper
1. First, cut a hole slightly smaller than a jam bottle’s cap in the bread, using a knife if you don’t have a pastry cutter.
2. In a medium-sized pan on low or medium heat, plop some lovely butter, and when it starts frothing, briefly wet both sides of the bread with it, and then fry it. In about a minute, when the bottom is lightly golden, flip it over.
3. Break the egg expertly into the hole in the bread.
Here is what will — or should — happen:
The yolk will sit like a lovely golden eye in the middle. But in seconds, you will see disaster unfold, as the rest of the egg leaks out from under the bread, randomly spreading over the pan like a map of some ex-Soviet country. The result will look like an omelette with a slice of bread sitting on top, and a half-cooked, yolky, yellow eye in the middle. Welcome to the fatal flaw in the Golfer’s Egg.
I have ruined the Golfer’s Egg like this for decades, laughing it off lightly as though it was part of the plan. Last week, I spent all night determined to find a solution, laying waste to dozens of eggs. I finally fell into a death-like slumber. It was then that the answer came to me, in a nightmare around dawn, when that voice spoke to me again. You idiot (said the voice), use two slices instead of one, but cut a hole only into the top slice. The bottom slice will block the egg run-off.
Let’s try it again. This time, the ingredients are—
1 large fresh egg
2 large slices of bread
Many dollops of butter
Salt to taste
Freshly ground black pepper
For stuffing (yes, we’re breaking new ground here)
Use your imagination. Choose from bacon, onions, mushrooms or ham, or similar, in any combination. Chop everything fine.
1. Fry the stuffing, starting with the ingredients that take the longest to cook.
2. Cut a hole in one slice. Fry both slices in a little butter till golden brown on one side.
3. Keep the pan on medium or medium-low heat, and place the slice without the hole on it.
4. Layer the stuffing mixture over it. A little spillage is okay, don’t worry, bambino.
5. Lay the slice with the hole on top of this, toasted side up.
6. Glub a small gobblable dollop of luggabuggle butter into the hole, and break the egg into it. A little bit of it may flow in and around the spaces between the stuffing. Don’t fret. The magic is about to begin.
7. Cover the saucepan to trap the heat and cook the egg evenly. Alternatively, expose it to top heat under a grill.
8. When it looks mostly cooked, quickly drizzle hot butter over the yolk to complete the cooking process.
You should be looking at a breath-stopping breakfast spectacle of golden bread, sandwiching a savoury mixture, with a sunrise yellow egg yolk in the middle.
Full disclosure. I haven’t tried it yet, so who can say what will happen? Maybe the egg will leak out from between the slices and make a puddle. I’m not God, and Cher doesn’t even know my name. So make the Golfer’s Egg on your own time and at your peril. But I promise you this — however it turns out, the Golfer’s Egg has no choice but to taste terrific.
What if you end up with a goo? Here’s my winning brain-dropping — mash the whole thing into akuri and serve it as Wrestler’s Egg.
You can reach C Y Gopinath at cygopi@gmail.com
Send your feedback to mailbag@mid-day.com
The views expressed in this column are the individual’s and don’t represent those of the paper.
[ad_2]
Source link
